Marriage is like a helix model, wherein love, friendship, communication and sex wrap around each other in necessity to exist. Each marriage has its own unique code for success and it is the responsibility of both partners to decipher that code.
We’ve all heard about love languages, but there are also friendship languages, sex languages and different methods of communicating. Knowing your partner’s language in each of these areas helps you decipher your unique code for a successful marriage.
Here is a link to help you determine your love language. It offers free assessments and fun exercises you and your spouse can do together:
Finding out your love language is step one in deciphering your marital helix. It may seem silly or even unnecessary at first, but if you put in the research you’ll benefit from the results.
Let me give you a real life example. Jessica and John have been married for twenty years. Through the years John has spent a ton of money on gifts for Jessica. He’s given her diamond earrings, designer handbags, and lavished her with bouquets of roses for every occasion. Jessica was grateful for the gifts, but they haven’t touched her heart the way John had hoped and he can’t understand why. The reason was because Jessica’s love language was attention and words of affirmation. Even though she was grateful for the gifts, the way to her heart was through words. In her mind, it was easy to buy a gift, but much more meaningful to speak from the heart. Now, John still buys gifts but he doesn’t agonize over finding that perfect item or overspending. He uses his energy and time on putting his feelings for Jessica into words, verbally and on paper. He takes her to dinner and talks with her instead of leaving her alone with a gift. She feels more loved and connected and he feels satisfied.
Loving your partner in their language will take your relationship to new heights emotionally, mentally and sexually.